doomkeeper

Yes, you read it right. I’m actually stopping drinking. I’m really going to close that chapter in my life and get on with the future. I can’t tell you how much money and brain cells I’ve wasted on the subject.

Why? Well there’s been a few incidents of sorts and frankly and I’ve been very lucky indeed. There’s only a certain amount of time you can carry on being so lucky. As some of you may know I lost my younger brother a few years ago to a drinking related incident. My parents are amazed this didn’t stop me altogether. Well I always used to counter that argument with, “well he was just very unlucky” and “that’ll never happen to me.” Well I’ve done a few things recently that make me think that it’s only a matter of time.

“Why don’t you just cut down?!” Yeah I’ve tried that. I envy those people, we shall call them “normies, that can go to the pub and have 2 beers and say “that’s enough for me, goodnight all”. Are these people born of a different planet? What is their secret? Am I staring in the Truman show and these people are just actors? Ok that last one was a bit nut. But here’s the problem, once I start, I want another one. Maybe it’s my british 90′s yob mentality coming out. I drink like there no tomorrow and every 6 months or so there’s a moment where the lizard brain kicks in and I’m “that guy” at the party.

“Ahh, but you’re in Can-a-dar, they hardly drink anything over there. Any one of us Brits would be in the same boat if compared to them.” Well I hear this all the time and I’ve been telling it myself for the time I’ve been here. Truth is most of my mates back home ARE in the same boat and will quite prossible have something bad happen if they don’t stop. Well I’d like to lead by example and show it is possible.

It’s sill early days and I expect it will be very hard. I’m writing this on a my first Friday night off the sauce. Friday was always my drinking night. This Friday is kind of a special day as I had the day off, but is the first Friday just the same. We have free beer at work on a Friday too so being away from that is probably a blessing. The missus is having a girly night tonight, so I had to get out fo the house. This presented a bit of dilmea… all my mates were out drinking. What the bloody hell am I to do?! Well it was a gorgeous day, so I grabbed my bike and headed for the park. Turns out there’s lots of people doing stuff other than getting off their faces on a Friday evening. Roller-blading (of course it’s Vancouver), cycling, sitting out on the beach playing vollyball. You name it.

Like a very good mate of mine said to me once… “You have to change your life style”… and that I will.

Well a half Marathon really. And let me tell you that’s pretty damn amazing for me. I have to be the least likely to run person you are bound to meet anywhere. Seriously! I used to skip every gym class possible, with as many exotic excuses as I could think of.   “The cat ran off with my PE kit miss.” “My mum says I’m allergic to the air miss!” Jumpers for goal posts were never my thing.

I am about as fast as an Asthmatic Ant, with some heavy shopping. (thank you Blackadder).

Also I haven’t run ANY distance since I was knee high to a grasshopper.

I managed to run 10k on Sunday which was actually much easier than I was expecting.

You might be wondering what on earth made me want to do such a thing. Well it’s for a very good cause; The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, raising money to treat and cure Cancer. Pretty much everyone I know has been touched by Cancer in some way, so it’s very nice to be able to something to help. Also my girl is a Mentor this year. She has done the event before and they have invited her back to help others. Wow she’s pretty good.

It’s on May 3rd, which is very nearly my birthday. So please this year rather than get a pipe and slippers set from the Woolworth’s closing down sale, donate something on my page.

Here is my donation page.

Anyway I’ll report back my progress here with some photos when I get some.

“the only rabbit around here is the one inside your head working the controls.” - Father Ted.

Right, by AutoPilot I mean the little man inside your head that generally does your daily routine while you ponder other more important things. You know what I mean, the instinct to always put something back in your pocket without thinking about it. This bloke also surfaces when you’ve had way too much to drink and steers you home.

The reason I mention this is because recently it appears that mine has got bored and likes to amuse himself by causing havoc in my life.

Firstly one of my neighbors left their tap running and the floor above my apartment flooded. I couldn’t believe how stupid someone could be to do such a thing. I then promptly did the same myself and flooded my kitchen.

Then just the other morning I was getting ready to go to work and misplaced my iPOD. I tore the place apart before and after work. I even asked the security in the building if anyone had handed it in. Nothing. Days past by and I began to resign to the fact it had been stolen. Then I found it placed in my wardrobe!

The last one really takes the biscuit. I fell asleep at a friends house after a evening out. He luckily lives in the same building as me so this isn’t a big deal at all. Or so I thought… I awoke to find myself wondering around OUTSIDE my building, with no shoes, jacket or keys! Turns out I must have stumbled (sleep walking perhaps) to the elevator without collecting my keys, tried to go to my floor, found that I couldn’t without my keys. I then had gone to the only floor I could, ground! Nobody was about so I think I decided to walk outside! Unbelievable.

I can’t tell you how scary it was to wake up walking around outside with no shoes on. Truly astonishing. I managed eventually to plead with the concierge to let me back upstairs to get my keys. But only after a long drawn out conversation about why anyone would be that stupid.

The little bastard has now made me so paranoid I’m checking everything twice and sometimes three times.

Moral to the story. Wear a set of keys around your neck. Add a GPS tracking device to all expensive electronics and continually check the taps!

Is it me or have hangovers suddenly got more hardcore?

I still remember the days when I could go out until 5am then get up and go to work! What is it these days that causes my brains to go on vacation every Saturday morning? This morning is especially hard and certainly all well prepared plans will go out of the window in favor of my bed.

I’ve tried many cures. The latest being eat as much B12 as you can stuff down your neck, as soon as you realise you’re pissed. In my case this its first thing in the morning, which as I’ve found out is way too late.

Even this morning I’ve considered this wonder cure, but at 40 bucks a packet, they can kiss my arse.

Today I look around my flat (sorry condo) and it looks like someone has come in and trashed the place. Books everywhere, jacket thrown on the floor.

You know it’s not going well when the third person of the day asks you over MSN; “is this the booze talking?”

To quote the mighty With-Nail; “i feel like a pig shat in my head”. Actually it’s not that bad yet, but I can hear the farmer feeding the little bastard eggs in the next room.

Jägermeister is a horrible drink. I seem to get cartoon drunk when ever that cursed stuff comes out. No matter how many conversations you have with people saying that you can’t stand it. It always seem to show up with your name on it. Damn you Jägermeister!

Oh god, country music has come on the iTunes shuffle because some distance colleague gave you his music collection so long ago. And you simply haven’t the energy to make it to the mouse.

James begins to talk about himself in the 3rd person. Christ it’s getting bad now.

Right well, this post was supposed to have a point. So guess I should get to it…

I’ve recently done my Possessions and Acquisitions License (PAL) for firearms here in Canada.

Yes and I’ve done this before I’ve got my Canadian driving license. Why? Well it’s more fun of course

It takes a while for it to go through with me being new to the country. They need to do loads of background check to make sure you’re not a nutter.

Well anyway a good friend of both Manus and myself, Mark took us to the shooting range for the day last weekend. I can’t tell you how much fun it was…

I was quite nervous at first as I’ve never even fired a gun before. (well only an air rifle, but that doesn’t count.)

Mark brought along:

1. 9mm Smith and Western
2. 9mm Glock
3. AR15 Rifle
4. Remmington 12 guage pump action shotgun

Manu went first. He didn’t enjoy it

I was really accurate with the pistols. Mark even called me a natural, but I think he was just being kind on a beginner. 7 out of 9 were bull-eyes.

Surprisingly there was very little recoil and any of the weapons , with the exception of the shotgun, which would leave a bruise.

I was immediately hooked. I can’t begin to tell you how much fun this was.

A Brilliant way of relieving stress. I’d never thought I’d say this, but I’m thinking of buying one now

This post is a little old as I’ve had to wait until the latest release of the flickr plugin, so I could add the images….

My good friends Manu and Jesse felt it was time to me “real” mountain biking this weekend. Actually is was Friday as work gave us the day off being leap year and all. Typically this being our day off it rained like a bastard.

Before heading to meet the guys I went via the bike shop, where the blokes there thought it was quite funny that I was taking to the mountains.

In contrast here’s Manus bike. Not short of a about $2500 for this baby.

Hmm, I should have listened to those nagging doubts in my mind. We went to Burnaby mountain which was considered intermediate.

Here’s me laughing at the sign for “most difficult” trail.

I ended up going down a black mountain bike run and going over the handle bars. I busted both my wrists the left one quite badly and bruised some ribs.

This is after a couple of days… nice

Moral of the story:

Buy better bike. Believe the sign when it says ‘most difficult’.