“the only rabbit around here is the one inside your head working the controls.” - Father Ted.
Right, by AutoPilot I mean the little man inside your head that generally does your daily routine while you ponder other more important things. You know what I mean, the instinct to always put something back in your pocket without thinking about it. This bloke also surfaces when you’ve had way too much to drink and steers you home.
The reason I mention this is because recently it appears that mine has got bored and likes to amuse himself by causing havoc in my life.
Firstly one of my neighbors left their tap running and the floor above my apartment flooded. I couldn’t believe how stupid someone could be to do such a thing. I then promptly did the same myself and flooded my kitchen.
Then just the other morning I was getting ready to go to work and misplaced my iPOD. I tore the place apart before and after work. I even asked the security in the building if anyone had handed it in. Nothing. Days past by and I began to resign to the fact it had been stolen. Then I found it placed in my wardrobe!
The last one really takes the biscuit. I fell asleep at a friends house after a evening out. He luckily lives in the same building as me so this isn’t a big deal at all. Or so I thought… I awoke to find myself wondering around OUTSIDE my building, with no shoes, jacket or keys! Turns out I must have stumbled (sleep walking perhaps) to the elevator without collecting my keys, tried to go to my floor, found that I couldn’t without my keys. I then had gone to the only floor I could, ground! Nobody was about so I think I decided to walk outside! Unbelievable.
I can’t tell you how scary it was to wake up walking around outside with no shoes on. Truly astonishing. I managed eventually to plead with the concierge to let me back upstairs to get my keys. But only after a long drawn out conversation about why anyone would be that stupid.
The little bastard has now made me so paranoid I’m checking everything twice and sometimes three times.
Moral to the story. Wear a set of keys around your neck. Add a GPS tracking device to all expensive electronics and continually check the taps!
Rabbit #1 terrifies me. It looks like the one out of “Holy Grail” running amok in Starbucks.
Rabbit #2 is kinda normal, so let’s gloss over that one.
Rabbit #3 is so deformed that I thought I was looking at a picture of a hairy pig in a top hat.
I look forward to future pictures of deformed and terrifying creatures!